Are You Feeling Stuck? Do These 10 Things + PDF Book

There are so many reasons and ways we get stuck in life and feel like we are going in circles especially when we put in the effort but don’t get the corresponding results.

Worse is even when we get stuck in our careers, businesses, lives, organizations, and find it difficult to get out.

The frustration, depression, discouragement, anxiety, worry and the likes of negative baggage that comes with getting stuck sap energy and make us lose hope of ever turning around the situation.

And must we even get stuck in whatever we do? It is still possible that we can prepare ahead of expected challenges and inflate our buoys before the hard waves hit.

But whatever happens, don’t get stuck. Find a way out. If you stay too long you will sink.

Things are changing and you must improvise and adapt to overcome. And there are things you can do in order not to get stuck.

TABLE OF CONTENT

• Increase your worth
• Build and increase your network
• Improve your mind maze
• Develop a sense of venture
• Think like you have no degree
• Simplify your life
• Find new ways to do same old stuff
• Take care of your health
• Priorities and time management
• Thinking futuristically

1. INCREASE YOUR WORTH

What is your worth? What is your value?

Your worth is your importance, relevance, or usefulness not just to yourself but to someone who needs what you have got.

Your values (what you hold dear) play a vital role in determining your value. They will also value what you hold dear. Habits become values and values become destiny. What are the underlying principles that govern your life? When we choose the right values that in turn guide us and our actions, we will make the right choices that will increase our value.

When you respect yourself, you are respected.

Your value is your bargain power. And people won’t see you or pay you beyond your value. Unfortunately, some will also not see your value even when you prove it.

But what is more important is knowing and being confident about your worth. Confidence usually comes from knowing who you are and what you’ve got.

Self-development – All round personal development is key to dynamism in life. Read books, exercise, doing stuff that you initially were not into develops you. So far as they are positive. You get to explore new worlds you didn’t know existed.

Skill acquisition – You can increase your worth by learning a new and unique skill that stands you out even in a crowded field. This is part of improving your mind maze which in turn increases your possibilities and chances of not getting of feeling stuck.

Special Qualifications– Specialization in your area of expertise is a step further not just in developing yourself but also getting you set up for potential promotion in your place of work.

Volunteer – The secret and power of volunteering is often overlooked and underestimated. How do people know your worth when they probably have not seen it? And how can they see it if you haven’t shown or displayed it?

There are times you have to showcase your worth for nothing in return for people to see what you are capable of. Let them have a taste of the value you bring even when they don’t pay for it in the beginning.

This is one powerful but underutilized secret of getting into organizations and even businesses. Apply as an apprentice or intern and learn/add value to increase your worth.

After a while they can’t help but notice and appreciate you both in kind and cash.  

What can or will you do differently? Will you be missed? What cannot be don’t without you?

2. BUILD AND INCREASE YOUR NETWORK

“Sometimes it is not about what you know, but who you know.” That was what someone advised me when I was looking for a job at a radio station one time.

You can be the best in what you do but still not get your appropriate dues. You need people. No man is really ‘self-made.’

I attended a seminar sometime back and the speaker said something striking. This may not be entirely true but it holds some water. He said, “Sum up the income of the top 5 people you roll with and divide the sum by 5. And that is the ceiling of what you can make rolling with them.”

Within and outside your field of influence there are people you have to befriend and build a relationship with. And you have to make them feel comfortable and also add value to them for the relationship to last.

It goes beyond exchanging cards and clinging glasses during hangouts and laughing over barbeque at end-of-the-year parties.

The people you need to meet – Who are they? Where do they go? What are their hobbies? Have something in common you both can relate to.

As much as possible stay away from sensitive topics like politics and religion except they ask your opinion. And you can politely decline to answer to avoid an argument. It can be a spoiler if you are both on different sides of the fence. Remember, you are trying to build a relationship.

Contacts don’t always mean you have a connection. Stay in touch genuinely. Communicate, build trust, understand the other person well enough.

If you want a friend don’t go looking for one; be one.

Your association also determines your value. Your network can determine your net worth. You become more like the people you spend time with. Some monies you will make are tied to particular relationships. Become deliberate and strategic about making friends with people you need. Make sure you are not a nuisance to them.

Build and increase your network in such a way that when people in your cycle think of recommending someone to get something done, you will be the first person that comes to mind.

Recommendation is information – That is what took Joseph from prison where he was stuck to the palace. His relationship with the butler and the relevant information he had made the butler recommend Joseph to the King.

When you have relevant problem-solving information and you build the right relationships, you will be recommended.

Associate with, hang out and fraternize with people who are doing what you do or want to do/be to stop feeling stuck. People recommend the people they know and have a working relationship with.

Spend time with older people and mentors. Listen to learn when they speak. Ask them relevant questions. They open your mind up.

There will be times when their hands are full and they will need help to execute projects. Deliver when you are recommended or brought on. If you are an architect hang out with architect friends. And if you are a lawyer be friends with other barristers. If you are an artisan find your tribe.

Even simple things like your car refusing to start in the morning – who are you going to call? If you got into an unavoidable situation and get taken in by the police who do you have on speed dial to come get you out?

Relationships are important if you don’t want to get stuck in life. Your network is your net worth. Building a genuine network that lasts takes time. Be patient when building them.

3. IMPROVE YOUR MIND MAZE

The mind needs to be properly taken care of in order to get the best out of it. You use it to think and get yourself out of situations and stop feeling stuck.

Brain care – Sleep, rest well, exercise, meditate, eat right, and avoid bad habits that can mess with your mind.

Awareness and curiosity – They keep the brain sharp and inquisitive hence the mind tries to solve problems before they even come up. Without curiosity, you won’t be interested in why you are stuck and how to get unstuck.

Creativity – Your ability to be able to connect seemingly unlikely concepts comes with consuming information and allowing the mind to birth new ways of doing/seeing things. Be creative in order to stop feeling stuck.

Information – Fill your mind with relevant information and not junk. Seek for and fill your mind with the right kind of information. Read relevant books and listen to audio books.

Watch videos. There are people who have built entire livelihoods just from watching videos online and offline. There are people who have unstuck themselves by watching seminars, training and workshop videos.

And today they are good at baking, public speaking, fashion designing et al.

There are so many free resources and courses you can do for free online that there is almost no excuse to be ignorant or stuck in this age and time.

Open-mindedness – Being rigid can have you feeling stuck. You block off new facts that way. Once the earth was thought and said to be flat. But that changed and today we see it is actually spherical. Unlearn, learn, and relearn if need be.

Opportunities abound all around. Even in adversity. Be open-minded and see beyond the facade.

Stop complaining and start appreciating. That way you will start seeing more opportunities. It may not be the government that is making you stuck, it may not be the lack of money or opportunities. It may be your lack of ability to see the opportunities in the adversity because you are feeling stuck. Look more closely.

Opportunity knocks, but we are too deaf to hear. Not because we cannot hear but we have become deafened by fear and playing victim.

Take the problem apart – research about the problem(s) or challenge at hand.

Break routine – Do the same thing in different ways possible. It starts even from doing the simple day to day activities. Read more about this on point number 7.

Play – We underestimate the power of play. We have become so serious with life that it has become serious with us also. Watching a child play will allow you to see the simplicity with which they solve problems that you can also apply. Play as often as possible and stop feeling stuck. This is another way to build creativity for problem-solving.

Sometimes the best of solutions don’t open when we knock. They are like cuffs. The harder you struggle, the tighter they get. They come to you when you are not looking too hard or too serious. They can come in the shower while you are humming, playing music, or even on the toilet seat.

4. DEVELOP A SENSE OF VENTURE

If you don’t dare or try then how can you tell what else works? Being okay in your comfort zone and with the status quo is a good reason why people are feeling stuck. When you become okay with the boundaries you work within, they become limitations and surely a way to feel and get stuck after some time. To free yourself you can:

Move around – People who have lived in Lagos all of their lives see Abuja as a comatose place where nothing much happens. And on the flip side, Abuja residents who visit Lagos see it as a crazy place where they cannot stay to work or raise a family.

But with time and the experience of both worlds, they have learnt to cope. They risked their comfort zones.

They learnt to appreciate and embrace the way of life of both atmospheres of hustle (Lagos) and networking (Abuja). If such a person eventually gets an opportunity on either side of the divide, they are likely to consider it rather than outrightly rejecting it. 

Moving around as a result of business or pleasure has a way of making you see new ways of life to take rewarding risks.

Travel – By any means necessary and available. By air, water, land, rail. There are people you will never meet in certain places until you go around the places they go or use.

Even in building your network there are certain kinds you will never see in some places because they don’t go there.

By air, you meet friendly and easy going people. By land, you get to learn of new places, sights/sites, and things that the plane flew over.

The experience of taking the train – you just enjoy the smoothness through natural scenes. And there are people you will meet when you buy first class tickets that you wouldn’t have met if you bought a regular ticket.

There is this third eye view you have about a place especially when you are just visiting for the first time. Others who may have been there long enough may miss it or not notice it. But it gets you excited and curious.

You may hardly be able to sleep going by road to a place you have never been to before. That education only comes to you only when you are willing to be present and just take it all in.

Environment – Environment matters! Exposure comes with the place you are situated. They want to change their environment and see things from a different perspective and look out new opportunities.

It matters where you are. The environment can determine available and creatable opportunities. Opportunity is in location. Opportunities are in people in the environment you are in. Life is about positioning. Be in the right place at the right time.

Dare to take profitable risks.

5. THINK LIKE YOU HAVE NO DEGREE

Other people have the same if not better qualifications. Your biggest mistake probably responsible for your feeling stuck at the moment could be your dependence on your certificate.

Utilize the opportunities available to start – the internet, the network you will build in the workplace you don’t like permits you to build friendships that can get you recommended.

When you think your school results will liberate you then it ultimately limits you because you look up to it. And then you can become blind to the opportunities around you.

The time investment in searching for a job can actually be invested in scouting for opportunities to start with.

Don’t get stuck looking for jobs – create opportunities for you and others. Come up with and execute your bright ideas.

When you don’t think outside the certificate box, you can’t help feeling stuck and frustrated. You begin to feel betrayed by the government thinking they owe you a job or means of livelihood.

The earlier you take your mind off expecting anything from anyone the lesser you are likely to get stuck waiting for something to happen.

An ‘illiterate’ who couldn’t make it into school that understands also that he has nothing to fall back to except to work his way through life will make a living while a graduate awaits some miracle.

6. SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE TO STOP FEELING STUCK

Another simple reason why people seem to be feeling stuck is that they have seemingly complicated their living and lifestyle.

Cluttering is filling a space in a disorderly way with junk and needless stuff that can cause stress. The extra stuff can be mental, physical, and even emotional that can cause us to become stressed and less productive.

The clutters can be in our homes, offices, closets, heads, and even in our minds. When we keep things we don’t need and hold on to them, we become cluttered and stale.

When you unclutter, you become free and create space for the more important stuff. Just like a computer that cannot clear its cache, we can become slow and irresponsive to things that need fast action.

When people want to move is when they truly realise they have got a lot of stuff they don’t need but hang on to.

And there are many things we let hang around that we have to do away with.

How clutters accumulate

Some ways clutters gather include:

i. Procrastination gets us feeling stuck

ii. Lack of maintenance and proper planning

iii. Hoarding can have you feeling stuck

iv. Inability to appropriately use space – lack of spatial arrangement ability

Importance of uncluttering

a. You remember more and it saves time. Ever looked for car keys when you are in a hurry?

b. When you declutter, you see things that were there before that you didn’t remember are there to be used. Remember the Parable of the woman who misplaced coin? She found it when she uncluttered.

c. You will procrastinate less. The reason why we procrastinate is that we have left things to pile up so much that starting to sort them out scares us.

d. You become ‘portable.’ Travelling on short notices. You can even move on short notice because you’ve sorted almost everything out. And you become freer and refreshed, clean-slated, light, organized and focused. You can breathe fresh air.

e. You will get more productive mental and physical space.

How to unclutter your space

To become really efficient and productive you have to identify and shed unwanted weights stopping your energy and flow. Taking care of a few only can still affect other areas of efficiency.

Does it have value? Do I really need it? When was the last time you used it? What is really important to you?

a. Physical space

• Simplify your life by getting only what you need.
• Sell unwanted stuff to the pawn shop or online.
• Commit certain times to do work and recreational activities.
• Select things you do not use anymore to give away or donate to people who need them.
• Sell anything that has monetary value but you don’t need any more.
• Rearrange your living space, loosely-hanging cords, and utilize space.
• Box things you don’t use regularly or things you use only seasonally and store them away safely in plastic storage containers and boxes.
• To remember stuff easily, keep them in your view to work on them immediately.
  
  As simple as keeping your car keys is. Until you have an emergency and you can’t find it then you understand why it is important to remember keeping it away from kids.

b. Mental and creative space

• Don’t leave more than 7 browser tabs open. Finish with and close the others.
• Your work station should be mapped for ease of locating things
• Use the bin when there is a need to.
• Simplify your process and methods of getting things done.
• Sort things out immediately. Don’t postpone anything.
• Don’t multitask complex tasks. Complete each task one at a time.

c. Emotional space

• Your mind – trash negative thoughts. You need a good and undistracted mind to think good thoughts to create good products.
• Cut your losses, let them go, and move on.
• Think and attract healthy and creative thoughts.

To feel light and travel faster you must deliberately shed every dead weight holding you down and making you feel stuck when you want to make progress. When you simplify your life you amplify productivity and get ahead.

7. FIND NEW WAYS TO DO SAME OLD STUFF

Rebranding – Rebranding doesn’t necessarily mean you are possibly doing a new thing. It is as simple as repackaging a product/service that already exists in a new way. All the big names today that still exist in business use this strategy to survive. Coca-Cola does it.

They simply put the consistently tasting product in a new container and serve their customers. It’s just putting old wine in a new wine bag. You can do the same so as to breathe some fresh air.

Innovation – Innovation can also see you do something new by a combination of ideas whether new or old. The fuel of innovation to me is boredom – feeling stuck. But not many people know how to turn it around to use it to their advantage.

When the brain gets bored, it needs something new to tickle it to become active again.

Collaboration – “4 Free Coca-Cola for every 4 litres Oleum Lubricant. Ask me” This was a powerful caption of the collaboration between the beverage seller and motor oil seller I saw on the jacket of an attendant in a filling station.

You may ask “What do the two have in common?” Well, they both made money from that collaboration. Find someone to collaborate with on exciting projects. Write books. do research together etc.

Work hard. But work even smarter. Redefine your processes. How can you save time, energy and resources but still achieve the same or even better result?

8. TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH

One reason why people feel like they are stuck or are actually stuck is because they are sick or they have been sick for so long. And when they eventually get well it looks like they cannot catch up with the streams of activities they have missed out on. Sickness is a time-waster.

Your physical, mental, and emotional health are a priority if you do not want to get stuck or feel stuck. The feeling of depression is one major reason for frustration. When thinking that life no longer has meaning and there is no use living. This feeling of stagnancy can lead to feeling stuck and committing suicide.

Put off bad habits before they put you off.

Get to rest well, refresh, and rejuvenate your health as often as you can. Even heavy duty cars need servicing to avoid breakdown. If you do not want to get stuck when you are being productive then you must take care of your health.

9. PRIORITIES AND TIME MANAGEMENT

Entertainment vs Education – As a lecturer and researcher in the field of management, entrepreneurship and human potential, Dr Dennis Kimbro encourages his readers to look within to extract the keys that underlie all accomplishment.

His inquisition led to the question: How can impoverished black Americans pull themselves out of their poverty and reach their full potential?

Dr Dennis took a survey that showed an appalling statistics of the E-to-E ration. The average American spends 50 dollars on entertainment against every 1 dollar spent on education. That’s 50:1. And the ratio in the black community is 200:1!

Imagine that survey being taken in Africa and Nigeria in particular…

When you value watching your favourite TV programs and don’t fail to pay your subscription but cannot pay for an invaluable training for almost the same or a lesser amount of the subscription fee then it is possible to get stuck.

Slow down on the video and computer games.

Phone and social media addiction – This addiction is almost running very close to cigarette addiction.

How do you use your phone every day? Is it the first thing you carry when you wake up? And you probably wanted to check emails and messages just for 30 minutes? Do you know how much time some ladies spend on selfies? If put together in a week it is enough to start and complete an online course.

And you ended up running the battery down before you remembered you had stuff to do.

Well, you just lost time and got stuck on stuff that you should have done during that productive time of the day. How do you also spend your time after work and before you sleep?

Put that phone down and go get a life.

Spend less time on gossip sites and chit chat on Facebook and WhatsApp. They are not productive times.

If the phone is distracting you, sell it and use the money to start a business that fetches something. Focus on what’s really important and forget the distractions by setting your priorities right.

What is in your hand? A big phone that is not making you money? What is the nearest rock you can strike? A small business? Then sell it and don’t get stuck with unproductive activities.

10. THINKING FUTURISTICALLY

Another reason why people tend to get stuck in life, business and other dealings is because they don’t pay attention. They don’t see where the trend is moving. And even if they do they make no move to adjust in order to catch up with the trend.

If you don’t want to get stuck you should be able to predict what the future looks like by starting to prepare for it today if you do not want to be stranded when the time comes.

For example, investing in heavily in the stock of cars that still run on fossil fuel is and denying that electric cars will not take over in the nearest future is taking a negative risk at your own risk. It is happening gradually and is only a matter of time the world over accepts it.

When you do not have retirement plans and keep living and spending like you have streams of income and suddenly you get laid off then you didn’t think about the future. Hence you didn’t save or think of possibilities of sustenance in case anything happens.

CONCLUSION

When a car stuck in the mud wants to get out, its power and torque must overcome what is keeping it from moving. Else it will keep working and wearing its engine and still remain in the same spot.

When a rocket wants to defy gravity and break the laws of physics, then it must shed any unnecessary weight and carry as much fuel that can sustain it to break that barrier.

If you feel stuck and you really want to make tangible progress, you need to shed the weight holding you down and put in the work required to make it happen. You have to do more than you have already done and become comfortable being uncomfortable.

If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward

Martin Luther King Jr.

But by all means, don’t get stuck. Keep kicking to get out of where you are feeling stuck by all means. It takes sheer will and determination.

You have all it takes to get you unstuck. Just try and try again.

Share this post with friends and family if you find it helpful and drop comments below. Lastly, you can download the book – STUCK – in the link below as a free gift and share with someone who may be feeling stuck or wants to get ahead and be/do more.

Let’s be friends on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram on @iamneuroking. 

Download the FREE eBook – STUCK

Stuck -The book written by my great friend Oluseun Oyeleke and myself is dedicated as a gift to everyone who is feeling stuck and wants to get ahead in life…

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