Emotional Money: How Much You Got?

I looked into the 9-seater bus that had just pulled over for me to hop in and eyed an empty seat close to an elderly man staring with bushy brows.

“Mtchew. You no the see?!” He impatiently hissed and yelled into my face with that early morning breath before I had the chance to apologize.

“I’m sorry sir.”

My bad. I didn’t mean to step on his bare toes jutting out of his slippers.

I took the seat beside him wondering why a man his age will be that mad as early as 8:23 am. The bus conductor motioned at me to pay my fair and ‘pops’ was next.

I pulled out a note and motioned to him that I’m paying for two as I handed the money over, pointing at the man I stepped on.

“Thank you sir“, he said with his hard face melting into a smile as he saw that I paid for him.

Why did he suddenly become friendly and call a young dude sir?

We had barely approached the next stop when his phone dinged and he opened the message to read aloud a credit alert. Like he’d been expecting the money since forever.

He couldn’t hold still in the moving bus and so decided to alight at the next bus stop to hurry to the nearest bank.

“Drop me here! Give the boy his money back and take this one!” He commanded the conductor as he slapped his pockets to find and bring out the sticky old raggedy currency that seemed to be his last – at least before the alert.

I thought he titled me sir some minutes ago.

“Keep the change,” he said to the bus conductor as he walked away with an arrogant sashay…

About noon of the same day on my way back I met ‘pops’ again. But this time he didn’t seem to recognize me as he greeted and asked meekly,

“Afternoon my son. Please, I need your assistance. Can I get transport fare from you to get home? I don’t have any money on me and I forgot my ATM card at home. And the bank I operate an account with is quite a distance.”

My mouth hung open with surprise.

Is this the same man? Why is his speech so polished now? And he’s turned such a humble old man. I cracked a smile as I reached for my wallet…

And that is the attitude swing of some people with respect to money. Their confidence and the way they treat others depends on it. But why?

Time out…

Is being short-tempered synonymous with being broke?

Are you easily irritable or tetchily cranky when your wallet is slim?

“Does lack of money make me timid and much of it make me display arrogance?”

Am I humble only because I’m about to ask? Why is it not easy to offend me when I receive a fat alert and I’m all smiling?

How level-headed are you when your purse is breaking and you don’t care to patch it?

“How collected am I when I don’t have physical cash?”

Why do we feel embarrassed when the ATM  screen reads ‘INSUFFICIENT FUNDS’ and the person behind you can read it?

Or why try to explain, without being asked, after you’ve wiped your debit/credit card on your jeans severally and it still won’t work “but I have enough money in that account“? (Who ask you?)

“Does my happiness and decisions depend on the amount of ‘money’ I possess?”

If most of these happen to you almost always then you are likely low on emotional money…

Money isn’t just what lies in our wallets and purses waiting to be spent or in our banks waiting to be withdrawn. (Well, that too.)

Money is an emotion. Yes, it is! You can feel rich before you become rich while someone with cash still feels poor.

So you’re at a funeral and then you received an unexpected fat credit alert. How do you feel huh? Don’t lie.

You read the message and start smiling only to catch yourself and peer from the top of the dark shades to see if the Reverend saw you. You couldn’t wait to feel good, did you?

Psych! Well, what if your friend actually played a fast one on you by saving his phone digits as your bank name on your phone (set to the option of showing contact name only) while you were attending to the funeral home attendant? And then he sent you the message after giving your phone back just to prank you happy.

C’mon. It’s true that money can’t take the place of the dead (but it sure can console the living). Sorry ’bout your ‘loss’ though.

You were feeling down and just then you received a mail saying you won a jackpot… Sorry, I’m just mood-swinging you again. But how would that feel?

But how long did you sustain that good feeling? Let’s say it’s for real this time. You withdrew all that money into a duffle bag and kept digging into it until your eyes popped one day after turning the bag inside out to discover it’s all spent!

How do you feel now? Do you feel more clear-headed and wiser? I bet you were not spending on the right people and things and now you’re going back to the people you didn’t spend it on.

Why will money (physical cash) or the lack of it determine how you feel and act? And then why do some people hate on money and the ones that have it because they don’t?

Why do the ‘poor’ dress rich and the rich dress simple? Why do people have to ‘feel rich’ by dressing rich to feel confident? It doesn’t change the fact that I (you) make more money in a pair of jeans and white tee than you (they) in a suit and tie sitting in an air-conditioned corner office.

Why would my lack of money (your perception) or having much of it decide how you treat me? Someone who just hated on and looked down at you suddenly flips and is all nice because the person they respect pays homage to you. And they didn’t know it was you who drove the Ferrari parked outside because you are wearing flops. Is looking too simple a crime?

Why will money (or lack of it) motivate one to take another’s life…or even yours? Then I’d rather take my life than commit suicide.

Whatever the case I’d prefer to be on the other side of the fence where I don’t have to base my feelings on external validations. The ‘fence’ is in the mind and raised by you. There is really no divide. All you have to do is cross over by thinking and feeling different even before you get there physically.

Not everyone is rich. Because some just have cash but not emotional money. You are truly rich when you’re stripped of everything but you don’t feel that way.

“She left/doesn’t want me because I ain’t got ‘money’; I have to make money to get her.”

Really? How did you feel about yourself before and after you approached ‘her’? What motivated you? Were you confident? Or were you shaky from “I ain’t got the dough but let me try“?  

That’s why she left or she’s going to leave right after there is no more cash to spend. Because your confidence was in the physical (and external) cash but not in your true self!

The real money is from within and that is the emotional money! No one can take that from you. Emotional money attracts and sustains the physical cash and everything else.

7 RULES OF EMOTIONAL MONEY – The lady in the bar: An analogy

This is how to attract and keep real money.

Emotional money (confidence and worth) is like the attitude and carriage of the 10th guy who walks into the bar and goes to sit minding his business from across the room.

Probably unwary of 9 other guys trying to woo her (cash) – offering to buy her drinks, lighting her cigarette, dusting her stilettos, kissing her hand and throwing themselves at her feet. By all means, they try to please her.

He sips on his cocktail and plays with the umbrella.

“Who’s that guy?” she asks under her breath. Soon they get shaken off (leaving attention to the ‘realest’ in the room).

They peel away from her as they’ve tried but can’t woo her properly. Sooner or later he walks over… or she’ll come over.

Confidence (in true value) is the name of the game. Don’t make her (cash) feel like you can’t do without her even though you need her. But you have got to be emotional money rich to attract her. Be about your game and she’ll say yes without falling head-over-heels.

Hey! Stop slobbering and drooling. Stay with me. We’re talking about the ‘money’. Gaddamn! I’m just painting a picture to illustrate emotional money versus cash.

1. Keep your motives in check. If money is the lady and vice versa, why do you want her? If it’s for pleasure you might just have a ‘one-night-stand’ and if you’re for real she just might stay with you for a really long time. Are you having selfish emotions or selfless confident ones? Either you love her (not obsessed) or you just want to use her. Be genuine and she’ll stay; try to ‘use’ her and she’ll leave.

2. What’s your opinion of her? Are you gossiping her to be hard to get? Are you judging her with respect to her relationship with others? Do you believe them? How do you see her for yourself? Recession – How do you see it? Do you see it as a time to think global and international, peeling your eyes open to opportunities or a time to grumble and lament? If you see her as hard-to-get then you are likely to be emotional money broke.

Are you having money thoughts or lack thoughts? The money didn’t go anywhere! It only changed direction to where she deserves to stay. Remember she will play hard to get if you think she’s hard to get. That don’t mean she’s cheap. Feel different about her. Money is not hard; she’s easy. It starts with emotions.

3. How do you feel about money and the people that have her? Don’t hate them or think every rich person is crooked. You can’t hate your brother but love God. You can’t hate money but love cash.

God is the ultimate source and He gives (mental) power to make wealth. When you hate the person that is empowered, you hate God’s gift. The more you don’t take, the more they take. Love the rich(-es) and the lifestyle.

You deserve her. She’s beautiful. No cherophobia. Know you truly deserve her and she deserves you too. Feel her warmth in your heart and pocket. You must not continuously woo her all your life. Let her also work for you and take care of you and your children. Let her bear fruits. She is your help.

Let nothing make you feel guilty about having good money and lots of it that bear cash. Let her multiply so that her children will take care of you when you grow old. You deserve to be surrounded by the finer things of life and the fruits of your labour.

4. “It’s me or him/her!” You can’t have two ‘masters’ at ‘same time’. Money may get jealous but don’t ever put her above your family and loved ones. Be there when you are there. Be about money when it’s time and be involved when you’re with loved ones 100%.

Don’t chase her so hard she lures you ‘far’ from home. If your family is the reason why you chase her then introduce her to your family! Make her submit to you or you’ll be emotionally torn chasing her wild.

5. Don’t hold her so tight that you cannot let her go. If you trust her you’ll let her go. If she’s yours she’ll come back. How do you feel when you misplace an amount or lose a huge sum? Let it go. Enlarge your capacity to gain and to forgo.

None has ever gone bankrupt from philanthropy. But there are those who withhold and still become poor. They cannot risk investing it.

6. Feel and be confident. Believe in you. She doesn’t give you confidence. She only boosts the confidence you already have. Bringing out who you really are. It’s a booster. Just like the saying Behind every successful man is a strong woman. Behind every wealth-thought is strong emotional money.

Nobody likes a ‘poor’ man. Not even cash sitting across the room from him. Poverty is a mentality; and so is confidence. You can’t think poverty and expect to get rich. Think confidence and get backed up by the substance.

7. It’s not the money. It’s you! She only responds and gives you the push you need. You can deprive a wealthy person over and over of his cash but he’s confident and has enough emotional money to make that cash back. He won’t go about lamenting and throwing pity parties because he knows the source is infinite and is a result of a mental state.

You’re no different from the man standing next to you with a billion money. He only thought about and felt what you haven’t yet. Catch the vibe and get your rich on! You don’t let cash control your feelings and actions; you control her with your worth (emotional money).

In your chosen career don’t always wait for the money or motivation to float your dreams. You will not have everything ready to start.

Make a move regardless of circumstances. You can’t wait for things to be perfect; perfect things as you go along.

In business learn not to have all the cash you need to strike a bargain or not hesitate to start something just because the money is incomplete. Learn to leverage worth and use it to make deals happen. The richest people all had to borrow monies in their lifetime to make it happen. But they couldn’t have done it without their emotional money and worth.

In your organization, the dream you have and the mission you want to undertake are enough ingredients to set you going on that path. Sooner or later people will see the burning passion and queue to help you realize your dream.

In life, you don’t always have to wait for the perfect moment to strike or get what you want. Seize the moment and direct your energy toward achieving the end goal. You don’t have to have it all to feel confident or worthy. When you are heart-ready then you are ready.

Don’t wait for something good to happen before you feel good. Don’t always wait to have the cash to come when you have emotional money to draw on.

Things that are seen don’t last forever, but things that are not seen are eternal. This is why we keep our minds on the things that cannot be seen – 2 Corinthians 4:18. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Think rich. Feel rich.

Be emotionally wealthy and all else will come running to you.

Thoughts. Feelings. Attitude. Never grow old with the negative ones…

True wealth is portable and it is within. Withdraw from your emotional money every day with joy.

Me? I’m so wealthy that all I need now is just lots of cash to afford mistakes I couldn’t as I travel the world.

The universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you already are

Rumi

What is your confidence? How much emotional money do you have? Stack up on emotional money because it is your currency to everything else you want.

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#motivation #money #emotion #feelings #attitude #creativeliving